Control Freak? I think not.

Sketchbook entry

Drawing is relaxing; but, only if I dont think about what I am drawing.  

Not easy to do.   Try it someday.

I could not have done this drawing with a lot of planning.  In fact, I just put pencil on paper and let something emerge.

I have no idea if this is normal, or something unique to me.  

It would not surprise me if most artists were total control freaks and plan every detail out prior to placing a mark on paper.  I wouldn't understand how they could live with themselves; but, it would not surprise me.  

I have to force myself to draw from a still life set up in front of me; and, this is a necessary thing to do.  Drawing from life, or objects, does help sharpen drawing skills - not to mention training my eye to see what is actually there.   

Maybe, I should try planning out a drawing.   

What is Human?

From my sketchbook.
Study for something

There are times when I draw faces that are exaggerated versions of people.  If this looks like an alien species, that is not the point.  It's a question.  

What is it that makes us look like humans?

We anthropomorphize almost everything from animals to random shapes in clouds.  How far can I push drawings before that stops?

I do consider this to be in the realm of fantasy, although you never can be absolutely certain about the line between fantasy and reality.

   

Sketchbooks

Exploration of pencil
sketchbook 
I just started shading; fit the images to the initial marks.  It's less a drain on the wallet to explore images this way.

    Sketchbooks serve differently, depending on the artist.  Well, at least from what I have seen.  Some books are filled with what look like finished drawings; and, at the other extremes, notes with some illustrations about what the artist wants to do.

    For me, it's somewhere in the middle - and the occasional recipe for something I want to cook.  Not that I am a great chef, but food can be fun.  I don't have a lot of finished drawings, but sketch books don't demand that.  There is a lot more freedom to try things.

    I should buy sketchbooks wholesale.

Hand Study

Photo Study of Hand
digital jpeg file

For some reason, hands are difficult to draw.  I must have some kind of block, that prevents me from seeing the forms that truly exist.

They have been in front of me all of my life.  

I know what hands look like.

That my problem.

Lines and tones go on paper, not the "hands" that exist in my mind.  

A curious thing, this concept of drawing something.  

Paper is flat.  My hand is solid. 

What goes on paper are tones.  I don't even draw the whole hand.

 

You Have To Start Somewhere

I had to start somewhere.  

A Natural drawing talent was not one of my gifts.  

I struggled with a desire for perfection, which is the usual enemy of growing, or a least putting work out there.  The younger me was stupid enough to compare my drawings to masters of the craft.  

Sketches from riding DART Rail Service

But, drawing is like a marathon.  Your ultimate competitor is yourself.  Also, you have to keep drawing.

watercolor exercise
date forgotten
title not considered

 

sketch during lecture
i was listening, really
Done a few years ago
 

Eventually, a drawing emerges.  It dawns on you that you that there is more to art than perfection.  

ink with brush on paper
done a few months later

Thoughts on Appearance

Confidence in myself is not easy to acquire.   It never has been for me.  I am not outgoing and my physical appearance is average.  

Appearance does matter in life.  It's harder to ignore this in the age of social media; but, its been around forever.  The king will attract the best looking girl in the kingdom, etc.  

Nothing stands out about me visually.  It sucks when I am trying to sell a piece, or get attention on social media, and I am dismissed imeadiately because I don't look the part.  But, that is a marketing issue, not art. I can be coldly analytical about that. There are ways around such annoyances.

About the only thing, right now, that I seem to have confidence in is my ability to draw and paint.  Im not perfect; but, I still have time to correct that little detail.  

 Artist's "see" more than most people; and, that is because they force themselves to look at what is there, or it comes naturally to them. Thus, this sensitivity to appearance. 

What does this have to do with confidence?  Well, I don't actually see a connection between confidence and appearance.  One's appearance can make social interactions easier, but that is about it.  

Alex
Ink on paper. 
4 by 6 inch 

A cat appears confident.   Why?   We are probably projecting onto cats how we wish to be.  Not afraid to jump from couch to chair, always fighting back, and not afraid to ask for what they want.  Fearless little predators, perhaps that is what we want to be.

Perhaps, confidence is simply people who have either mastered their fears, or are oblivious to their surroundings and the stuff that could hurt them.  How can you tell the difference?  Generally, one is a child and the other is a grown up.  

Something to think about, anyway.

Two of my paintings for sale on my Etsy Shop.   

The photos are an attempt at creating a scene, or still life setting, for the paintings.  It is hard for me to think of a painting without a setting, whether on a wall or desk.  Paintings become a part of dwellings, environment, or bacground - depending on one's mindset.  Never are paintings a stand alone object.   I don't think anything physically exists that is not a part of something.  If some one purchaces a work by me because the colors match their interior design scheme, I am honored.

Mentally, of course, such independence is conceivable.  

However, the concept does not reflect the physical world.  So, from my point of view, art is a part of something whether we want it to be or not.   

A reflection of the human condition.  

Two visions.

Humans are individuals.  Human is collective.  

But, everyone is blindly looking at the same thing.

So, what are we?  A massive herd trampling everything in its path?  A solitary animal?  A single spirit or a mass of spirits?  Do we have a natural communal mind?  Do we build our communal minds?

Sometimes, I think that was the Great Question of the Twentieth Century; although, to be honest, the question probably first came up in before then.   Calenders are convienient markers of time; but, not as accurate as we believe.   

I have no idea about the Twenty First Century, it is hard to see the forest from the inside.   

 

Coffee

Thursday July 8, 2021

A early pencil study of ceramic ware.
No idea about the date.
From one of my sketchbooks.

Old Student Drawings

Today is Wednesday July 7, 2021 

 Drawing is almost a necessity for me.  

Moving a pencil across paper has a feel that calms me.  The feel varies with the paper.  Sometimes it feels as smooth as silk, other times it feels like the paper is fighting back.  The end result is the same calming but with different objects produced.

Ink with brush on recycled paper.
In terms of feel, it is somewhere
between painting and drawing.

Sometimes I draw with a brush.  It doesn't calm me.  The feeling then is more like the feeling you get after working out.  Satisfaction.

Just staying with pencil on paper is not a good idea.  The feeling stops being calming.  

Such excess seems to be numbing on many levels, because it only occurs when there are limits no stress to challenge the soul.  

No human is ever complete without a certain amount of stress.  

Seems odd.  

It is a long way of saying that I needed to push myself artistically.  I believe the popular saying is "Step out of your comfort zone."

Yes, people do need to do that from time to time.  But, when your boss says stuff like that, or "think outside of the box", you need to find out what your boss is thinking and do that.  He wants you to agree with him, not be creative.  (I have only heard this from male bosses.  I'm not sure what that suggests.  Most of my female bosses were more concerned with the job than their ego.)  Context matters.  Also, If you hear the words "work smarter, not harder" from anyone but yourself, more work is about to be dumped on you.  I repeat: context matters.

I hate those phrases.  I prefer to do without pop psych quotes from self help books.  Even if an author of such a dubious book was competent - the people reading it probably just heard what they wanted to hear.

But, I am off subject.

Still Life study.  Sketchbook graphite

I never try to tell a story in a picture.  It's not my main challenge right now.   Besides, people bring their own experiences to art, and make their own stories.  

I like that about Art.  

It is a two way bridge.   

Artist and Patron are connecting through a Work. 

Now that is a challenge worth tackling.  

 

Stipple Rendering.  Ink on Paper
At time consuming technique that can
 yield some incredible results

Abstraction  Ink Brush on Recycled paper

I draw almost every day.  

There is one problem.  

No one ever sees what I do, except when they walk by me while I am drawing in my sketchbook.  Oh, I suppose that is a way of exhibiting, but sketchbooks are just beginnings.  A point of departure for more polished works in the studio.   Sometimes, they are more exciting than the finished version.

https://www.instagram.com/powell_brian/  This link was established to show off my studio work.  So far, it has performed rather well for someone who just posts without thought.

This blog is turning into another way of showing my work.  I suppose it was in the back of my mind without me noticing.  

I am thinking more about what I am doing on this blog.

Social media offers a lot of opportunities for showing off; but so many sites depend on the shock value of images to draw views.  I prefer, both in drawing and in viewing art, the small subjects. Everyday life, small objects, still lifes, or abstractions exploring the relationships of materials and perception.    

Social media is a lot less nerve wracking than physically exhibiting.  I have the option of shutting off comments.  The physical work is about the same.  I don't have to convince a gallery owner to take a chance on me.  There is no contest entry fee or size requirements.  Even so, there is no substitute for an actual physical presence of a person contemplating a drawing or a painting or a photograph.  It is the same with music, listening to a recording is not the same as the experience you get in a crowded concert.